You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
Found: medium sized pair of mens pants tucked inside my purse w/ a dry cleaners coupon in left pocket. Call if you wish to claim the coupon
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
You WHAT?!?!
Paid. A. Homeless. Guy. To. Throw. A. Drink. In. Her. Face.
I fucking love you.
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
Randomize
