there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
I think I'm just going to go like every guy on tinder who has a jetski. I'm doing this for us, Summer is coming.
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
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