If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just got a full body massage. It was uncomfortable at first, but then I realized I let strangers turn off the lights and put their hands all over my naked body 3 times a week anyways.
I probably shouldn't have followed up that rainbow sherbet with beef jerky. This is a whole new level of fat, even for me.
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
I just sneeze out a chunk of leftover pickle I threw up last night. dont you try and tell me your day is going worse
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
Randomize