There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
I woke up this morning to my panties draped around the neck of an empty bottle of bulleit. That is the perfect visual metaphor for my life at this juncture.
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
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