I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
You said you couldn't use your body anymore so you made me push the buttons on your phone while you made alien sound effects
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
And then the night went full on bisexual.
Randomize
