Note to Self: No matter how horny, turned on or in the moment you are, never go down on your gf after she had soccer practice.
community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
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