I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
Dude. Went to buy some jack and sailor Jerry, when the guy at the counter realized it was my birthday everybody in the store including the stoners and the elderly sang to me. Then they gave me shots of moonshine. 21st bday was a success
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
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