normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
dude your girlfriend is running naked down the hall with a raw chicken taped to her stomach saying this is what I'll look like pregnant...run far far away
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
Just showered and cleaned every bit of sex off of me cuz i have a feelin my stepmom has jesus powers and would be able to smell it on me
Randomize
