swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
i woke up to find out i googled the Twilight Eclipse trailer. so either drunk me doesn't know that i'm straight, or sober me doesn't know that i'm gay
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO BE A DRUNK WHEN ALL MY ENABLERS ARE BUSY?!
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
Fuck me I smell like cheese
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
tell me about the fingering
Randomize
