put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
Two things. 1 - I want to apologize for my drunkeness last night. 2 - I want to pre-apologize for my anticipated drunkeness tonight.
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
Drunk me just want to text sober me for saving that half rack of ribs I loves you
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
Randomize
