I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
I need to stop being so honest when I'm drunk. I got proposed to by a stranger again last night. It's not my fault that I would be perfectly ok making sandwiches and giving blow jobs for the rest of my life.
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
Randomize
