Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
I paid some man $10 for his shirt last night cause I liked it. Explains that. Bought the jackolope head from a street vendor. Got invited to someone's hotel rooftop swimming pool which explains why I was in my bathing suit. My clothes from last night are MIA. Going over the border with no pants on is awkward. Origins of the car rim still mysterious.
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
The ass gains better be worth it
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