You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
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the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
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When you get this divorce finalized we're going to mid evil times AND pirate dining adventure. We're gonna find you a couple of real men and make them joust/swashbuckle for your affection. My treat.
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
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