He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
Annabeth just got on the bar and slurred something about how she was worried that when she started dating you your penis wouldnt fit. You are one lucky bastard my friend.
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
I think I swiped left on my soulmate
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
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