I hate all girls vehemently.
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
Operation Purity has been aborted
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
Randomize