Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
I think that's the first time i've seen 'you look like an ugly version of my ex' work as a pickup line
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
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