What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
I love that my idea of a romantic gesture to you is to send you a picture of my vomit saying "wish you were here". You voluntarily dated me. For six years ish.
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
Randomize