i'm pretty sure the devil's penis is california-shaped
I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
I'm either too drunk or not bisexual anymore
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
I want a musical about memes.
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
So I took a screenshot of my boarding pass and the TSA agent somehow swiped it to the next photo. Yep...TSA saw my dick before I even went through the body scanner.
Randomize
