I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
Ya’ll! My debit card got switched with my boss’ at lunch today (both Red Wells Fargo)....I realized it at whole foods AFTER I ran it for $100 at Vanity Room getting my vaj waxed 🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️. Most awkward IOU ever tomorrow.
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
Randomize
