So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
You don't take my phone while I'm passed out, have a three hour conversation on it with Dealer Dave, set up a date with him and NOT TELL HIM THAT HE'S NOT TALKING TO ME.
EVERY guy that's EVER been in my vagina has texted me tonight for a booty call. Narrow it down to the greatest hits or just work in timeline order?
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
Randomize
