It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
Why did you not tell me that video snapchats are a thing? This is a fucking game changer for my mobile sex life.
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
The viagra-rita was a sexual success and a furniture failure. He said it was the best cowgirl sex he’s ever had even with the broken couch
Randomize
