is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
Randomize
