U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
i took a field sobriety test yesterday. a crowd gathered, watched me pass it and applauded. then the cops arrested me because i took a bow and fell over.
I saw an Asian dude carrying a patchwork denim purse get into a car with two rednecks at the grocery store tonight. Imagine what I could have seen if I had actually done something interesting.
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
Don't EVER smell your tampon
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
Crop dusting thru forever 21
Randomize