At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
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