my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
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My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
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I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
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