What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
You were right. It hurts to walk today.
The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
I'm about one sudden movement away from being able to cross "throw up in a fortune 100 company's bathroom" off my bucket list.
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
My concierge just asked me to his place for dinner while I was signing for a delivery. The delivery was a box of vibrators. Let's discuss.
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
Randomize
