it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
I'm driving to work with an ice pack on my vagina. how was your weekend?
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
Randomize
