Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
Note to self: the judgement that occurs when unrolling your last 5 which was used to snort drugs the night before, to pay for alcohol before noon on a Monday is worth just sucking it up and taking an overdraft fee.
Wait a min, you had drugs last night?!
And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
Turns out the owner of the bar that I fucked used to be on Boy Meets World, but now he's old and bald. So there's that..
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
Randomize
