Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
new years resolution: more sex, less car punching, more chipotle.
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
29 Petty People Reveal The Shallow Reasons They Turned Someone Down
i woke up on my kitchen floor, halfway through a text, and my mascara running... this is why i stopped drinking tequila
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
21 Horribly Evil Pranks To Play On Your Drunk Friends
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
Best elective surgery ever. Having a great time ignoring girls' pleas to pull out and blowing it inside anyway. I like to watch them absolutely freak out and go batshit crazy for 20 mins before I mention the snip-snip surgery. Power trip.
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.