As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
23 People Noticed Deal Breakers in Their Partner A Little Too Late
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
23 Millennials Confess The Things They Wish They Weren’t Attracted To
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals