I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
I'm pouring my heart out in these texts and you're going around showing everyone???
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
mom just texted me "hawaii ambien". those are like the two things she talks about to keep me interested in spending time with her.
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
You think the guy at the speed wash knows he needs to scrub the vomit off the side of my car?
He knew.
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