You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
I just saw a hot homeless man
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
29 Frat Parties That Got Way Too Out Of Control
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
Also I hooked up with a trainer at my gym. Between her, the married chick, and the bartender, my life is becoming a bad porn plot.
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
15 Ridiculous Ways Broke People Managed to Make a Buck
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
Sweating vodka and spray tan, I feel like a trophy wife.
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.