I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
I passed out leaning next to a light pole. When the cop woke me up at 4 AM, I told him I was a block away from the apt, just had to stop to make a puke pit stop.
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
I threw a dessert topping at a baby tonight so drink up! If you stay sober tonight I will be very disappointed in you.
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
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