how was your day?
fuck the small talk. are you bringing the liquor tonight or am i?
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
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