fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
Based on how hungover I feel today, it makes more sense that the bouncer didn't let me in to that bar.
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
I'm wearing the jeans from casino night. Tell me why I have a napkin in my pocket that says 'dont fear me'? I'm hoping it was just a coincidence.
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
She made me walk a straight line to prove i was sober enough to help carry you to the car
Knowing you it was perfect out of spite. Like. A line straighter than YOU
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
Randomize
