You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
I deserve like a purple heart or something. I just made it all the way drunk through my 2 story house without making a sound. While carrying a trombone.
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
Randomize
