if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
Randomize
