So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
Things in my bed this morning: a Waffle House hat, a finding nemo DVD, sharpies, my graduation robes and an adult diaper. Did we play drunk scavenger hunt again?
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
Randomize
