I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
Just licked cheese from my hot pocket off my phone. I spilled because I was eating a Popsicle at the same time. Send an adult please
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
Randomize
