whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
what the fuck. my fiance told me she called our wedding band last night and told them to perform "best i ever had" for our first dance
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
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