I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
you did that thing you do when youre drunk where you rant about bruce springsteen, start hooking up with someone and then pass out midway through
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
The cat's telling me to stop taking acid, and to start doing the lords work. I'm almost 99% sure he's talking about the dark lord.
THIS CAT'S GOING TO TURN INTO A SNAKE AND KILL ME! GET OVER HERE NOW! BRING YOUR WAND.
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
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