Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
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