I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
you never texted me what you wanted from the store so I got a piece of chicken and bottle of tequila. if you want anything else you are on your own.
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
Randomize
