Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
Met the five year old's gym teacher for next year. He is an old drinking buddy and I used to fuck his older brother. It was like a walk of shame 20 years late.
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
If I give you a key to my place you have to promise to one day wake me up with a blowjob.
And by one day I mean once every two weeks.
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
quick, give me some iron man trivia, i'm going to make this girl regret quoting tony stark in her tinder bio
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
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