i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
By "met a doctor" I really mean "fucked a pre med student"
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
It's that time of night again when I start to think I'm really funny, but no one else is as drunk as I am so they all start avoiding me.
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
Randomize
