Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
So it looks like you may be an uncle real soon. Don't ask how I feel about it and don't text me back.
Fact: Chilis at the airport in JAX will serve you shots of jack at 6:45 with breakfast. Ya I missed my flight.
So when does your new flight leave?
At my shot/hour ratio.... I leave in 16 shots. I love flying
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
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