One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
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