remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
it was like having sex with a tree stump
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
Bitch looked at my dick and said "I thought they called you horsecock, I'm already disappointed"
I told you that line would get her home never said it was a good idea
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
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