Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
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