My mom caught just caught me jerking off...in her room.
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
You carved your initals into all my vitamins and said "now a small part of me will be in you every morning" before you fell asleep with my thong on your head.
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