this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
You tried to tip the Uber driver with a meatball sub. Then, when he refused your meatball sub...you demanded he take you to the corner with the hookers. The valet has your keys and water balloons. I'm glad you're only in Chicago for the weekend.
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
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