dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
so later when i'm crying over him remind me that he once called his penis "senor weeper"
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
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I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
We found him. He was passed out in a McDonalds booth with at least 6 big Mac wrappers. The employee said he kept yelling that he was in America and had the freedom to have big macs. Fucking Italians...
Being engaged is strange. I looked at my cock this morning and said, "we did alright these last 32 years, right?"
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bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
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