Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
I stole a fireplace last night.
Moment of the day: as we leave the restaurant, she reaches into my pocket, pulls out her panties, and angrily marches to her car. I felt like a sketchy magician.
I'm mad at him and disappointed with you. It's like I put a bunch of effort into a PowerPoint of "what not to do with Zach" to show you and the first bullet point was "do not love him" and you're just disregarding all my effort and friendship.
I have to make mistakes myself to learn from them
FUCK YOU I AM MAKING A POWERPOINT
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
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