Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
WHY IS MY CAR MISSING A DOOR YOU BITCH
budget cuts
YOU CANT BLAME EVERYTHING YOU DO WHILE DRUNK ON BUDGET CUTS
budget cuts are serious business
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
I started crying during a meeting at work and now I'm sitting on my couch drinking boxed wine at 1:30 in the afternoon. Fuck you too estrogen.
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
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