my grandmother thought she vaccuumed up a quarter so she made me open the bag, dump it out on her front lawn, and dig through it. no quarter.
just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
Lmfao a voicemail screaming about you partying with your tits out and a text at 3 am saying you went too crazy... this should be a good one
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
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