It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
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You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
Sign she's a keeper: "I would rather be late to brunch than waste a perfectly good boner."
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
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I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
He’s going to a lawnmower race. I got a Brazilian and he’s racing a lawnmower race. Pick me up. I’m not wasting this waxing on John Deer
Listen, yo... we need to have a serious conversation about this Dollar Store toilet paper. Because if I’m going to finger someone’s ass, it’s not going to be my own.
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