so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
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it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
He serenaded me a cappella to Ed Sheeran. I wasn't going to leave his dick unsucked.
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
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