You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
I read the police report. You asked the cop if you could use his in-car computer to update your facebook. No way you get out of a DUI.
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
Just reminding you that you are currently drunk spooning a chair saying it "loves you unconditionally". No more rum.
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
You both snapchatted me that. Like, I just got a double dose of penis pastry.
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