I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
Mom looked at me, frowned, and said "it makes me sad to see you drink before noon.." So i told her if she doesn't like it she needs to stop waking me up before noon.
I just forgot I was standing up.
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
Randomize
