His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
Would you want me to push you down the stairs OR throw you a baby shower?? Real talk
Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
I'm just drunk enough to be eating egg rolls on the toilet
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
He literally asked permission to hit on me
Randomize
