I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
Randomize
