I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
In a tragic sexting typo, I typed the word "blobjob". Now she's coming over and I have no idea what I'm in for...
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
I just told the bartender to “give me something that will murder me”
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
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