just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
Someone put a huge skyy vodka bottle in our washing machine. My roommate didn't see it and ran it. The washing machine split in two. #life
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Randomize
