a very overweight girl in the ER just said she trippped over the invisible wii jump rope and fell
HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
my mom just told me how she used to love having sex while stoned. wtf.
You broke her grandpas urn and ran your hand through his ashes claiming it was pixie dust. I think thats why shes mad at you..
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
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