420 ftw
So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
The little girl I'm babysitting is having a tea party, the water and chips she's passing out are doing wonders for my hangover.
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
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