You're going to have to start masturbating with your left hand. Or with someone's vagina
theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
Why am I sleeping on top of the fridge?
You were playing hide and seek with the dog. she couldn't find you and you passed out.
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
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