So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
So I was bartending last night and this guy w/ his gf said that he recognized me, so I asked him, "do you watch a lot of gay porn?"
I know you won't see this for awhile, but I had to tell somebody, and you're like the only person who won't judge me for having an accidental erotic encounter with General Tso's chicken.
She got a boob job, dumped her husband, became a stripper, got a DUI in her Porsche and is now dating her lawyer
I’m making her my life coach if med school doesn’t work out
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